Keepin' on

Tuesday my hamstrings wailed like banshees. "Yes, I know you're there," I said back.

Now I know they're entirely responsible for the forward motion known as running. It's really hard to do when they refuse to participate.

So I got out there at 5 p.m. and ran 5 miles. Like a tortoise. At best. I just inched along, grimacing with every footfall, thinking, "Shit. Is this one of those times where I need mental toughness to power through the pain; or, is this a time when I need to stop and rest if I ever want to run again?"

My training scchedule called for 8 miles, but the 5 were more than enough. Then I stretched for a good while, and the hams have settled down. A little.

Wednesday checked in with TTT, who was surprisingly supportive when I told her what a lousy week for eating I had. She encouraged me to just get back on it. She also reminded me that I am in good shape, healthy--so at this point it really comes down to eating. And yes, it takes Herculean efforts at this point to lose weight. She is crazy dieting to get in bikini shape for a workout video she's shooting in two weeks. And since she's trying to lean up from her size 4's to size 2's, obviously she doesn't need to lose the weight, she wants to--and it takes efforts like mad to jolt the body out of what it's rightly comfortable with.

Anywho, she brings food with her everywhere and eats 6 times a day at least. Each meal is a little bit of protein and a little bit of carb--egg whites and oatmeal, chicken and sweet potato, steak and broccoli. As she says, "Yeah. It's not fun." But her thing is you have to eat, and you have to eat clean to lose weight. It's about fueling the machine and avoiding additives, preservatives and sugar. I've decided I need to think that way--a little mind shift is in order. Especially with this marathon training. Dieting and running 40+ miles a week doesn't really make any sense. I need to eat in a way that will fuel this body to work hard, to gain strength and endurance. I need to quit being a sissy worrywort about what size I wear--focus more on what my body can do and less on what it looks like. This is a monumental shift for me. I'll keep working on it.

It was good to hear TTT say, "Look, it's not like you're hugely fat. You're fit, you're healthy, but you just might not look the way you want to look." So true. Dammit.

So we worked out and I did an hour on the ARC machine and decided that was enough for yesterday. I was scheduled to do 3 miles, and I did 3 miles on the machine. Then I headed to Ann Arbor to meet my friend Jessica for a lovely, hot afternoon of Mexican food, margaritas, ice cream and meandering around that darling town. So much for getting back on it diet-wise. . . .

Today it's raining and I'm due for a 6-mile pace workout. It's not happening this morning. I wake up all kinds of achey these days. I know running helps loosen things up, but shit--the last thing I want to do when I wake up achey is set out to pound the pavement. I plan on an evening run. Some days that works better for me. It's going to be crazy hot and muggy, though. I can tell.

I'll need the head clearing that comes from a hard run after a day of house cleaning, clothes cleaning and heart+mind cleaning in preparation for the ex's visit tomorrow. Or perhaps today. Sheesh.